A Glimpse Into My Life

Thailand! There are many days when I have to pinch and remind myself that I am REALLY here! I love the people, all the colors, night life when the streets are lit and people are out selling all kinds of meat, rice, fruit, etc. and the fact that is has been quite cool the past couple days. I have gotten quite accustomed to sweating ALL the time tho. :) Just can't get away from that one. I love all my Thai sisters here! Taking language classes five mornings a week is helping me obtain somewhat of a vocabulary and my friends are very gracious in listening and letting me try to speak. Outreaches have been one of the highlights of my time here. Even tho it is such a very spiritually dark atmosphere, I find so much joy in loving in places like this. Constantly I am reminded how much I am dependent on God for His presence to fill me. I want to be so consumed in His love that those I look at and touch are impacted. I want to see heaven come down to earth and transform lives.

During the beginning of the second week I was here, I was tying to go to sleep one night and as I was laying there, I suddenly had this picture come to my mind. I saw myself walking down the streets of Bangkok with Jesus. As we walked on the uneven cement sidewalk surrounded with cars on one side and storefronts on the other, I saw this woman with a little baby begging with a cup in her hand. In this picture I saw myself stoop down to sit beside her and then take her baby and hold him/her in my arms. As the baby was in my arms I started praying over him/her asking that the Holy Spirit would come on this little life to break any curses and bring life. As this picture faded, something inside me came to the surface and lying there on my bed I started to weep uncontrollably. I knew that it was God's heart awakening in me.

The very next day I was walking with one of my friends to go run some errands. (This is in real life now :). There in front of one of the shops sat a young girl with a tiny baby laying on a bed of clothe on the ground in front of her. The only things she had with her were two bottles and a cup for coins. Turning aside, my friend and I knelt down beside her. I pulled out a few coins and dropped them in her cup. In broken Thai, my friend discovered that the baby was only 4 days old. The girl kept glancing up nervously and looking around. As we sat there I put my hand on the infant's tummy and started praying silently. We left shortly after and I haven't seen them since then.

I never know when there will be an encounter with someone that is part of God's bigger plan for me being here. Here is one of those random/fun encounters...One of the first days I was here, I was enjoying some time in the park near my apartment. As I was sitting on a bench, this very cute older Thai woman came walking passed me and on her second time around the fountain, she stopped and reached out her hand. I understood that she wanted me to walk with her. I smiled, stood up and took her hand. A short time later, her daughter and son in law came. They both spoke English and so we talked for a little while. It made me so happy to meet all of them and especially the older woman whom they call "ma". I hadn't seen her since then and then the other day my friends and I walked into one of the pharmacies here. Standing behind the counter I saw the older woman, her daughter and son in law. As my friends were making their purchases, the "daughter" looked at me and said, "Oh, she is friend, I give discount." lol! I never know what kind of contacts I will make here. :). Well I better go, it is near 6:30 and we are going to pray and go on our outreach into the bars. I hope that this has given you a little glimpse into my life here in Thailand. O God, let Your Kingdom come!

My First Day in Thailand

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

This morning at 8:50am I left my house and headed down the street/alley where I live now in Bangkok, Thailand, passed through a small but beautiful park and headed toward the office building of NightLight. I was supposed to meet one of the other staff members there and go with her to morning worship at a nearby church. Somehow she wasn't there but I ended up meeting and walking over with one of the lovely Thai women who works at NightLight. I left my sandals at the bottom of the flight of stairs and as we wound the staircase I could hear the sound of guitar, drums and women singing. Entering the room I saw that the room was filled with Thai women, all whom are employees at NightLight and have come out of the rampant business of prostitution. It was almost too much for my heart to contain. Although I didn't know what they were singing, my spirit immediately responded in recognition that the Spirit of the Living God was there. I saw several women raising their hands in worship and knew that it was heartfelt. After worship and a devotion, the women began their work making jewelry. This morning I joined them. I love the Thai culture and how friendly everyone is. Sitting at one of the tables with three other women who were completing jewelry orders, I attempted to make a beaded ring which one of the girls graciously helped me with. When I asked her how old she was she covered her face with her hands, giggled and said, "you guess." I laughed and told her I didn't want to. :) In Thai culture it is very common to ask someone their age as this will allow you to differentiate from whether they are an older sister, "pee sow" or younger sister "norng sow". This week I am making it a goal to personally connect with one women who works at NightLight each day. Next week I will be starting language courses as well as discovering what I will be doing with the children here. This afternoon one of the other staff girls needed to go the the doctor which is at a nearby hospital. This hospital in Bangkok puts all American hospitals to shame. It is more like a beautiful hotel. Amazing! On our way back from the hospital we passed down the street where NightLight has their bar outreaches twice a week. Especially in this part of town it is very common to see western men and scantly dressed women walking down the street or having a drink in a bar. The way you reach them...one person at a time, one smile at a time, valuing each life. Please pray for me that I will love to the fullest.

Do You Hear Their Cries?

Do you ever think about what drives you? What is it that stirs you and motivates you to action? When I was young I remember sitting in the pews at church and watching slide shows of little children with bloated bellies, pleading eyes and only a few scraps of cloth to cover their scarred bodies. Time after time my heart would be pulled to be involved, to love the ones that others had given up on and despised. Not until God opened the door for me to go to Africa last November and Him basically pushing me through it, did I realize how much I had even given up on the longings and dreams inside me. The dream to love the unlovely and touch the untouchable. During the 10 hour bumpy buss ride from Nairobi to Kitale, Kenya, my friend shared with me about a ministry in Bangkok, Thailand which has a passion to reach out to the prostituted women who live in the red light districts. Thailand is a transit, destination and source country for prostitution in the world. There are many "push" factors that force women and girls to enter a life of sexual slavery and servitude. Particularly in Thailand, the girls are expected to be the main bread earners for the family while the boys serve as Buddhist monks to secure their families spiritual blessing. The women that NightLight meets in the bars two nights a week are between the ages of 17 to 50. By building relationship with these girls, they discover that they don't have to be involved in this industry. NightLight currently offers 85 women employment in their jewelry making business, NightLight Design Company, Ltd. These woman are offered the opportunity to receive inner healing and explore areas that once have held shame for them such as dance and beauty. Hearing about this ministry, something inside of me was stirred. There is a verse that I read recently in the book of Lamentations. It is speaking about Israel who is like a prostitute. This is what God says, "The enemy has plundered her completely, taken away every precious thing she owns. She has seen foreigners violate her sacred Temple, the place the LORD had forbidden them to enter." On an average, 7 out of 10 tourist men who come to Bangkok, come there for the sex industry. God's heart is breaking for these women who have been violated. If you read the book of Lamentation through the eyes of a broken and battered woman you will have see the heart the Father has for those who are caught in prostitution today. In chapter 3 verses 55-57 she, the prostitute cries out, "But I called on Your name, LORD, from deep within the pit. You heard me when I cried, 'Listen to my pleading! Hear my cry for help!' Yes, You came when I called. You told me, 'Do not fear.'" I wonder how many hear the cries of these 2 million prostitutes in Thailand or the 27 million people enslaved around the world who long for freedom but don't know that it really exists. Coupled with illegal arms, prostitution/human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world. God's heart of mercy and justice is beating. It is beating through the hearts of passionate men and women who are willing to take a risk and go into the dark places around the world and recover these treasures hidden in darkness. So many see them as used goods. God sees treasures. There is a cost for seeing and hearing. Many just want to close their eyes. But then they miss seeing the eyes of Jesus. For it is in the most broken that His love often is revealed. The power of His love is enough. So let His love throb in your heart. Let it move you to action. Let His love so fill your spirit that you are moved to action, to touch the untouchable and most broken. Some are called to go, we are all called to love. Don't just sit in the pew and watch the slide show. Get on your face and let the love of God move you and drive you to action.

For more information check out this website: www.nightlightinternational.com

Express and explore

I am nervous...why?

why do I feel uneasy about going home? 

why do I feel unsettled as to what the future holds?

why am I fighting to stay in a place of love and not fear in my friendships?

I want to cry...

why do I suddenly feel depressed and like crying?

my hope is in You, Lord.

I wait for You...long for You.

I don't want to leave Hawaii...leave this safe place where I didn't have to deal with other things...

Something tells me I am being unrealistic...

but I must express

and what is it that I am tired of?

I am tired of fighting...

I don't want to loose this budding creativity inside. I want to explore...I must explore

or else put me inside a box and keep me there...but I don't want to be hidden...

I wasn't meant to be hidden

so I must express and explore.

God, it is You and me. The rawness of You and me.

Limitless One, my very Best Friend.

Take these thoughts, take control, mold me.

Hawaii Visit!

I am sitting in my brother's living room. Gazing out the large open windows I have a 180 degree view of the beaches of Oahu near Honolulu and it is breathtaking! Directly in the center is a huge crater. This morning I took a short walk along a mountain ridge that overlooks the ocean. While walking it started raining and the light cool showers mixing with the warm island breeze was incredibly refreshing. :) I feel so blessed to be here! 

What?! Did I Just Get Offered a Job??

It was a Sunday evening at the beginning of June. My friend Mandy and I decided to stop by and see some of our friends who were eating at a local Thai restaurant. As soon as we entered, another friend, Pieter introduced me to a girl whom I later discovered is the daughter of the owners of the Thai restaurant. As soon as she found out that I was planning on going to Thailand this Fall, she immediately suggested that I come in sometime and she could help me learn Thai! I was really excited because this was something that I had been wanting for awhile. But this wasn't all! Curious as to when I should come in, I asked her what time during the week she was free. Without hesitation she asked me if I was busy on the weekends and said that she could offer me a job during Friday and Saturday evenings. The whole time I was thinking, "Am I hearing correctly? Did she just offer me a job?!" Yes...she did and two Saturdays later I was helping to serve drinks, seat people and learning how to say "hello" and "thank you" in Thai! This was yet another one of those little confirmations that God has been given me that yes, He is preparing to send me to Thailand! 

The Story Behind the Name

Welcome to my blog!! Seeing as I love to write and I want to keep in touch with many of you, I thought that I should start one :). For those of you who are wondering why I chose the title that I did...here is the story.

In the summer of 2007, a couple of my close friends and I were up in the high school room at Grace. While we were spending time praying, one of my friends turned to me and said that she had this picture of me in two places. The first was a cave and inside the cave a gentle rain was falling. I was there inside this place of shelter and it was very refreshing. Outside the cave or shelter, she saw another place, a dry and scorched land where the overwhelming feeling was of despair and of giving up. It is a place where I come to the conclusion of "oh well" in ministry and relationships. But she also saw a bridge between these two places and the bridge represented trust and invitation. After describing this to me, she shared that she believed that Jesus wants me to take others into the shelter with me, to explore the tunnels in this cave. I wrote in my journal, "Janie, it is time to let them in. There is to be no more hiding in the cave and living in the desert. I want you to abide in the shelter of My presence always, let My Spirit refresh you and go deeper with Jesus. Bring others with you." 

And this is what I desire to do. Recently God has again been speaking to me of coming out of hiding and "proclaiming from the housetops" so to speak what He has and is whispering in my ear. I want you to be able to join me as I go deeper into the cave. He is my Shelter and Rain...and this is the name that describes who I am in Him.

Psalm 91:1