Express and explore

I am nervous...why?
why do I feel uneasy about going home? 
why do I feel unsettled as to what the future holds?
why am I fighting to stay in a place of love and not fear in my friendships?
I want to cry...
why do I suddenly feel depressed and like crying?

my hope is in You, Lord.
I wait for You...long for You.

I don't want to leave Hawaii...leave this safe place where I didn't have to deal with other things...
Something tells me I am being unrealistic...
but I must express
and what is it that I am tired of?
I am tired of fighting...
I don't want to loose this budding creativity inside. I want to explore...I must explore
or else put me inside a box and keep me there...but I don't want to be hidden...
I wasn't meant to be hidden
so I must express and explore.

God, it is You and me. The rawness of You and me.
Limitless One, my very Best Friend.
Take these thoughts, take control, mold me.